behavior problems/manipulating? TS? OCD?
Question:
<staugca…@aol.com> wrote in message
news:f8cd8190.0408060615.4f95dd7c@posting.google.com… > I am currently working with a family with a 7 y.o girl dx with TS.
just for back ground, I am a mom to a daughter, age 22, dx at 10, TS/OCD/ADHD/LD > Because of the problems with comorbidity and TS, it has been very > difficult trying to figure out what is TS, what may be elements of OCD > and what also could be manipulation.
Aha! Just wait until she is a teenager! And I am smiling when I say that. My comment here is that with the kids within my experience, most of the time it is a combo of TS/OCD, rarely is it manipulation especially at such a young age unless you also see manipulaltion in areas not related to the TS. At that age they usually haven’t figured out how to be that discerning. I actually found that in a relitively short while, I could figure out what was maipulation, but only when I was in the other room. I think then I could hear the difference in her tone of voice, or something. When I was in the room with her, I could be distracted by what she was doing, and not hear the nuances. Don’t really know another way to explain it. The "problem" and one source of anxiety identified > by this young girl is her mother’s voice. At times, she experiences > such a high level of anxiety being around her mother listening to her > talk that she "has" to have her either change her pitch (unnatural to > mother) or to ask her to stop talking all together.
Again, only an offer of example, no professional expertise. But my daughter would often, and still sometimes does, manifest tics and behaviors with me that she never has with others including her father. I ascribe this more to OCD or OCBehaviors. Our relationship is different than the one she has with her dad. I often thought that even if TS or OCD was not a factor, that I might set her "teeth on edge". Just like anyother relationship, sometimes certain parent child combos aren’t smooth. And I have to say that my daughter and I get along great, but she is and probably always will be seemingly extra sensitive to my voice, my inflections, my facial movements. Needless to say, it > has become a major issue, as the family does not want to "punish" this > young girl if this is part of her dx. It has been very difficult > trying to figure out what behaviors are and are not part of her > problems. Any help/advice/sharing would very much be appreciated.
Because we never really knew what was going on, even after years living with it, I look back on our solution as a good one for us. We used a LOT of humor. If I thought she was trying to manipulate, we joked our way around it. If I wasn’t certain, or thought it was OCBehavior, we still joked our way through it, however possible.We decided not to "punish" unless we were absolutely certain it was purposeful bad behavior. We also sought compromises we all could live with. If my "tone of voice" was bothering her, and I was not comfortable with her demands for how or when I talked, then we would work out a compromise, or be in different rooms until it passed, or use others as go-betweens, or something. She also became aware that we all had to live together and sometimes (NOT all the time), but sometimes, she needed to make the adjustment, not everyone else. For example: She had the compulsion, when sitting on the floor watching TV, if her sister was sitting in arms reach, to slug her sister. Needless to say, this caused problems. If her sister was out of arms reach, no compulsion. So who should move? We always believed we needed to make as few adjustments for the TS/OCD etc as possible. In the real world, generally people won’t. So usually, she needed to be the one that moved. And she learned to not sit next to her sister while that compulsion was in control. The good news with TS/OCD is that over time, the behaviors will change, and guess that’s the bad news too! still inventing
Response:
In article <20040810022847.19468.00002…@mb-m17.aol.com>, FANGBASHER wrote: ><< FB!!! How’ve you been? >I am doing ok, I think–kind of/sort of–will know more soon…
I sure hope everything turns out OK! >How have you been?
Pretty good, thanks. >I hope you are keeping cool.
It’s been a very cool summer here, so no problem with that. >I thought of you a week or >two ago when I saw a transportable, portable air conditioner–brought back >memories of past discussions….
I have air-conditioning, but I just about never use it. I much prefer to be warm, so it’s worse than a waste to use it except for in the most extreme heat. I might not’ve made that clear when I was posting about the problems heat and humidity were causing for my refrigerator, but, you’ll be happy to know that I did get a new fridge, one that controls humidity (as jennybravo had suggested), and now can properly obey labels that say "Store in a cool, dry place." Please take care, and be healthy FB! I’ve missed you here! Blurt
Response:
Hello, Fang. — RB |
