I need advice
Question:
Yeah , send this story to penthouse.. they love fiction. shelayla Peace Light Hope Love Survival is the best revenge
Response:
Janine, Thankyou! I agree 100%. I did not discredit his story entirely because I do agree he needs advice. He need psy. help. He has his fantasies mixed up with reality! Sounds more like the mind of a perpetrator than anything else! 
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – (snipped bogus story) Buddy, you stink of racist troll. If you’re for real, the others have given you advice on how to get help. However, you hit enough red flags to tell me that you’re not. You see, bullshitter, there are red flags to real survivors, and you’d have to be one to know what they were. You missed everything solid and gave us some racist porn trash instead. That makes you a double asshole. With a lifetime’s experience of knowing truth from lie, your disrespect is incredibly rude. If in the astronomical chance you aren’t a bald-faced liar, my apologies, but I seriously fucking doubt it. — Janine FOA "LIFE: To be born in imbecility, in the midst of pain and crisis: to be the plaything of ignorance, error, need, sickness, wickedness, and passions; to return step by step to imbecility, from the time of lisping to that of doting; to live among knaves and charlatans of all kinds; to die between one man who takes your pulse and another who troubles your head; never to know where you come from, why you come and where you are going! That is what is called the most important gift of our parents and nature. Life." — Denis Diderot
Response:
i second spike inspace
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – <Spike trying out this new tuff love am radio doctor/bitch persona (non grata). What kind of man are you? I don’t believe this. Next caller…. spike
Response:
(snipped bogus story) Buddy, you stink of racist troll. If you’re for real, the others have given you advice on how to get help. However, you hit enough red flags to tell me that you’re not. You see, bullshitter, there are red flags to real survivors, and you’d have to be one to know what they were. You missed everything solid and gave us some racist porn trash instead. That makes you a double asshole. With a lifetime’s experience of knowing truth from lie, your disrespect is incredibly rude. If in the astronomical chance you aren’t a bald-faced liar, my apologies, but I seriously fucking doubt it. — Janine FOA "LIFE: To be born in imbecility, in the midst of pain and crisis: to be the plaything of ignorance, error, need, sickness, wickedness, and passions; to return step by step to imbecility, from the time of lisping to that of doting; to live among knaves and charlatans of all kinds; to die between one man who takes your pulse and another who troubles your head; never to know where you come from, why you come and where you are going! That is what is called the most important gift of our parents and nature. Life." — Denis Diderot
Response:
In regards to your story……it is true that truth is stranger than fiction…The problem I have with this story is that this discussion group is for those of us those choose to better ourselves and learn from others mistakes. Human nature can be cruel. I don’t want to discredit your story in its entirity but two and two always make four. Things just don’t add up. You are either leaving out a lot of information or you are full of shit. Susan
Response:
<Spike trying out this new tuff love am radio doctor/bitch persona (non grata). What kind of man are you? I don’t believe this. Next caller…. spike – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – This is a strange story, but this is what happened to me about a month and a half ago. A black man had moved in the house next door to us, he seamed to be a pretty good guy, so to get to know him a little better my wife and I invited him to dinner one night. Things were going pretty well, We finished dinner and we went into the den and sat down and had a few drinks and talked We all thought he was pretty good guy, even my daughter seamed to like him. We found out he was recently divorced, thats why he had moved in, he was an accountant, and he had an 12 yr old daughter, about the same age as our girl. After we had had a few drinks he changed a little bit, he was getting a little fresh with my wife, so I pulled him aside and told him he was out of line. All of the sudden he began screaming at me, the he punched me and knockeed me to the floor. Then he jumped on top of me and held me down. I couln’t believe what was happening, I was in shock. And all my wife and daughter could do was stand there and watch.He kept screaming at me and held me to the floor.Then he undid his pants and exposed himself, he was aroused, it was so big. Then he grabed me by the back of the head and pulled me toward him. He forced me to perform oral sex on him right there in front of my wife and daughter. When he was through he got up and left. My wife ran to the bedroom and locked the door, ever since, I have slept in the spare room. We are like strangers now, she wont even talk about it. And its the same way with my daughter. My family is falling apart, and I feel like Im not good for anything any more. Does anyone have any advice on dealing with this type of trauma? — Click here for Free Video!! The Largest Usenet Servers in the World!
Response:
This is a strange story, but this is what happened to me about a month and a half ago.
Contact RAINN… 1-800-HOPE or www.rainn.org They can give you professional counsling, advice on where to go and what to do. Remember, it doesn’t invalidate you as a human being that someone violated you. The fault lies with the rapist, not the victim. Kennet Netdancer — http://www.thehungersite.com/index.html – Fight World hunger.
Response:
This is a strange story, but this is what happened to me about a month and a half ago. A black man had moved in the house next door to us, he seamed to be a pretty good guy, so to get to know him a little better my wife and I invited him to dinner one night. Things were going pretty well, We finished dinner and we went into the den and sat down and had a few drinks and talked We all thought he was pretty good guy, even my daughter seamed to like him. We found out he was recently divorced, thats why he had moved in, he was an accountant, and he had an 12 yr old daughter, about the same age as our girl. After we had had a few drinks he changed a little bit, he was getting a little fresh with my wife, so I pulled him aside and told him he was out of line. All of the sudden he began screaming at me, the he punched me and knockeed me to the floor. Then he jumped on top of me and held me down. I couln’t believe what was happening, I was in shock. And all my wife and daughter could do was stand there and watch.He kept screaming at me and held me to the floor.Then he undid his pants and exposed himself, he was aroused, it was so big. Then he grabed me by the back of the head and pulled me toward him. He forced me to perform oral sex on him right there in front of my wife and daughter. When he was through he got up and left. My wife ran to the bedroom and locked the door, ever since, I have slept in the spare room. We are like strangers now, she wont even talk about it. And its the same way with my daughter. My family is falling apart, and I feel like Im not good for anything any more. Does anyone have any advice on dealing with this type of trauma? — Click here for Free Video!! http://www.gohip.com/freevideo/ http://www.newsfeeds.com The Largest Usenet Servers in the World!
Response:
Here’s some really good advice. Your sex life is not something you should share with your mother. What the hell did you THINK she was going to do?
One would hope . . . take her to Planned Parenthood! Shar – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hello, I was looking for a website or chat group for advice on abuse… So what was the abuse? Ann I am a teenager and I have participated in sexual intercourse with my one year boyfriend. I told my mother and her response was not what I expected. I am a great student in school and get in hardly any trouble, so I figured I should tell my mom about it. So she has grounded me and called me many names. I have begun to feel like I really did do something wrong and that I am a terrible person and so on. I have even begun to have self-loathing, and as an adolescent teenager it takes a lot to do that… Someone plese give me advice. confused teenager who needs help.
Response:
Well, looks like you’ve gotten some good advice here. My only suggestion is that when you’re no longer grounded, please go to Planned Parenthood or some clinic, if you have not already done so. I see too many pregnant 13-14-15 year olds. Shar
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hello, I was looking for a website or chat group for advice on abuse… I am a teenager and I have participated in sexual intercourse with my one year boyfriend. I told my mother and her response was not what I expected. I am a great student in school and get in hardly any trouble, so I figured I should tell my mom about it. So she has grounded me and called me many names. I have begun to feel like I really did do something wrong and that I am a terrible person and so on. I have even begun to have self-loathing, and as an adolescent teenager it takes a lot to do that… Someone plese give me advice. confused teenager who needs help.
Response:
<snip Indeed but you have to know your mother before you tell them everything. That this poster didn’t is maybe worrying in itself.
Yes, true. Though your daughter coming up to you and letting you know that you are having sex might be enough to send even the most serene mother into a temporary hysteria. I don’t know why mothers don’t prepare themselves for this eventuality better. jean – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Ann
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Actually I disagree. My sister tells my mom everything like that and always has. My mom has kind of the opinion that teens are going to have sex no matter how she feels about it, and she would rather know and help my sister make wise decisions (birth control, condoms, etc) than not know and end up with problems. You have a very wise mother Mica.
Actually, for all the bitching I do about her, she is awesome and I am very very lucky to have her.
Response:
Tell your mom that if you are really good God the Father will restore your virginity … but you have to get the big guy to pop it first like he did to Madonna. Mother Mary Sister Jesus … Now you have a clue how sick your parent objects and the society you live in is. Its a pretty horrible and painfull place … what you did with having sex with your boyfriend and growing up is a crime and you must go to jail and pay your debt to society – it was evil what you did. Your evil spirit must be rebuked and cast out … then all will be well with your parent object who has a whole closet full of sexual hangups. Good luck … next time mastrubate. Ya its a homosexual activity – but you will get a hand on it after awhile. sumbuddie luvs ya 
Hello, I was looking for a website or chat group for advice on abuse… I am a teenager and I have participated in sexual intercourse with my one year boyfriend. I told my mother and her response was not what I expected. I am a great student in school and get in hardly any trouble, so I figured I should tell my mom about it. So she has grounded me and called me many names. I have begun to feel like I really did do something wrong and that I am a terrible person and so on. I have even begun to have self-loathing, and as an adolescent teenager it takes a lot to do that… Someone plese give me advice. confused teenager who needs help.
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Response:
. Hello, I was looking for a website or chat group for advice on abuse… I am a teenager and I have participated in sexual intercourse with my one year boyfriend. I told my mother and her response was not what I expected. I am a great student in school and get in hardly any trouble, so I figured I should tell my mom about it. So she has grounded me and called me many names. I have begun to feel like I really did do something wrong and that I am a terrible person and so on. I have even begun to have self-loathing, and as an adolescent teenager it takes a lot to do that… Someone plese give me advice. confused teenager who needs help.
there are few things i would ask you from my humble opinion: – you talked with your mother because you have a past life of some trust with her, and for what she represents to you isn’t it?? so you could consider several points: 1) it might be a first reaction from her part – being surprise parents can have very negative reactions at first… 2) in talking with her you are now allowing your relations to grow, you might not want to lose contact with your mother during your life, so it’s worth fighting and trying and giving her a chance to evolve with you…. 3) having a sexual act is an act in evolution towards aduldhood so welcome in this world which is very complex and difficult….. 4) you will always remains a baby for her and you are both needing to change…. but most of all, you need to be strong or find that strenght within yourself: you aren’t a bad person at all, you haven’t done something wrong, it’s simply human…. your own reactions to hers are important, in being on the road of adulthood you have to stand for yourself and understand that YOU have choices and you are making choices…. that will never make you a bad person…. imho, you are the only person to know the answers to your questions, so try to have as much informations and advices as you can and then, sit and think, you are making your own life….. good luck Phoenix
Response:
X-No-Archive: yes I had such a twisted mother in that area – she would have been the last person and was - that I would share any information of a sexual nature. Are there really mothers out there where you can share that kind of stuff without getting a negative reaction.
Yes, of course! jean, i’m one of them – not that i’d be high fiving her or anything – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Here’s some really good advice. Your sex life is not something you should share with your mother. What the hell did you THINK she was going to do? Hello, I was looking for a website or chat group for advice on abuse… So what was the abuse? Ann I am a teenager and I have participated in sexual intercourse with my one year boyfriend. I told my mother and her response was not what I expected. I am a great student in school and get in hardly any trouble, so I figured I should tell my mom about it. So she has grounded me and called me many names. I have begun to feel like I really did do something wrong and that I am a terrible person and so on. I have even begun to have self-loathing, and as an adolescent teenager it takes a lot to do that… Someone plese give me advice. confused teenager who needs help. — For more information about this NNTP posting service, contact: If you want an anonymous account, visit our sign-up page: https://asarian-host.net/cgi-bin/signup.cgi
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – your mother is in the wrong here, not you. her job was to listen and discuss your feelings with you, and express her anxiety/disapproval much more supportively than she evidently has. auntie cal’s advice is, give her a few chances to redeem herself and if she doesn’t come through, ride out the current spate of punishment and accept that she’s not able to be the confidante and ally you needed her to be. you’ll have to find someone else… maybe another family member, a counselor at your school, or a good, trusted friend. cal
I totally agree… good advice
Response:
X-No-Archive: yes I had such a twisted mother in that area – she would have been the last person and was - that I would share any information of a sexual nature. Are there really mothers out there where you can share that kind of stuff without getting a negative reaction. Yes
Indeed but you have to know your mother before you tell them everything. That this poster didn’t is maybe worrying in itself. Ann
Response:
Well I think it would have been a good idea to find out from her herself what she felt was the abuse before giving advice. She didn’t actually say.
yes she did: " she has grounded me and called me many names. I have begun " to feel like I really did do something wrong and that I am a terrible " person and so on. I have even begun to have self-loathing, and " as an adolescent teenager it takes a lot to do that" It could have been that after talking to her mother she wonders if her boyfriend abused her in some way.
it’s an unsupported interpretation. what she explicitly says is, after being called a bunch of names by her mother, she began to feel guilty and bad about herself. That would have meant a whole different answer from the one you gave.
no, and especially if it were so. she still needs a supportive ally and a confidante she can trust. instead of rising to the occasion, her mother verbally abused and punished her. name-calling is the standard delivery vehicle for verbal abuse, and when it’s done by parent to child it’s an abuse of moral authority and the love-bond. the result is the feelings the girl describes. the only other thing i would add to what i said before is that it wouldn’t be a good idea for her to try to find an ally/confidante on the internet. but i think windy covered that one off. cal
Response:
Here’s some really good advice. Your sex life is not something you should share with your mother. What the hell did you THINK she was going to do?
Actually I disagree. My sister tells my mom everything like that and always has. My mom has kind of the opinion that teens are going to have sex no matter how she feels about it, and she would rather know and help my sister make wise decisions (birth control, condoms, etc) than not know and end up with problems. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hello, I was looking for a website or chat group for advice on abuse… So what was the abuse? Ann I am a teenager and I have participated in sexual intercourse with my one year boyfriend. I told my mother and her response was not what I expected. I am a great student in school and get in hardly any trouble, so I figured I should tell my mom about it. So she has grounded me and called me many names. I have begun to feel like I really did do something wrong and that I am a terrible person and so on. I have even begun to have self-loathing, and as an adolescent teenager it takes a lot to do that… Someone plese give me advice. confused teenager who needs help.
Response:
X-No-Archive: yes I had such a twisted mother in that area – she would have been the last person and was - that I would share any information of a sexual nature. Are there really mothers out there where you can share that kind of stuff without getting a negative reaction.
Yes
Response:
Hello, I was looking for a website or chat group for advice on abuse… So what was the abuse? verbal and emotional abuse by parent resulting in unwarranted feelings of guilt and damaged self-esteem in adolescent offspring.
Well I think it would have been a good idea to find out from her herself what she felt was the abuse before giving advice. She didn’t actually say. It could have been that after talking to her mother she wonders if her boyfriend abused her in some way. That would have meant a whole different answer from the one you gave. Ann
Response:
Here’s some really good advice. Your sex life is not something you should share with your mother. What the hell did you THINK she was going to do?
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hello, I was looking for a website or chat group for advice on abuse… So what was the abuse? Ann I am a teenager and I have participated in sexual intercourse with my one year boyfriend. I told my mother and her response was not what I expected. I am a great student in school and get in hardly any trouble, so I figured I should tell my mom about it. So she has grounded me and called me many names. I have begun to feel like I really did do something wrong and that I am a terrible person and so on. I have even begun to have self-loathing, and as an adolescent teenager it takes a lot to do that… Someone plese give me advice. confused teenager who needs help.
Response:
your mother is in the wrong here, not you. her job was to listen and discuss your feelings with you, and express her anxiety/disapproval much more supportively than she evidently has. auntie cal’s advice is, give her a few chances to redeem herself and if she doesn’t come through, ride out the current spate of punishment and accept that she’s not able to be the confidante and ally you needed her to be. you’ll have to find someone else… maybe another family member, a counselor at your school, or a good, trusted friend. cal
Hello, I was looking for a website or chat group for advice on abuse… I am a teenager and I have participated in sexual intercourse with my one year boyfriend. I told my mother and her response was not what I expected. I am a great student in school and get in hardly any trouble, so I figured I should tell my mom about it. So she has grounded me and called me many names. I have begun to feel like I really did do something wrong and that I am a terrible person and so on. I have even begun to have self-loathing, and as an adolescent teenager it takes a lot to do that… Someone plese give me advice. confused teenager who needs help.
– For more information about this NNTP posting service, contact: If you want an anonymous account, visit our sign-up page: https://asarian-host.net/cgi-bin/signup.cgi
Response:
Hello, I was looking for a website or chat group for advice on abuse… I am a teenager and I have participated in sexual intercourse with my one year boyfriend. I told my mother and her response was not what I expected. I am a great student in school and get in hardly any trouble, so I figured I should tell my mom about it. So she has grounded me and called me many names. I have begun to feel like I really did do something wrong and that I am a terrible person and so on. I have even begun to have self-loathing, and as an adolescent teenager it takes a lot to do that… Someone plese give me advice. confused teenager who needs help.
Response:
Hello, I was looking for a website or chat group for advice on abuse…
So what was the abuse? Ann I am a teenager and I have participated in sexual intercourse – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -with my one year boyfriend. I told my mother and her response was not what I expected. I am a great student in school and get in hardly any trouble, so I figured I should tell my mom about it. So she has grounded me and called me many names. I have begun to feel like I really did do something wrong and that I am a terrible person and so on. I have even begun to have self-loathing, and as an adolescent teenager it takes a lot to do that… Someone plese give me advice. confused teenager who needs help.
Response:
Hello, I was looking for a website or chat group for advice on abuse… So what was the abuse?
verbal and emotional abuse by parent resulting in unwarranted feelings of guilt and damaged self-esteem in adolescent offspring. cal — For more information about this NNTP posting service, contact: If you want an anonymous account, visit our sign-up page: https://asarian-host.net/cgi-bin/signup.cgi
Response:
Hiya, I need advice. I need advice from someone who knows what it’s like to live or be someone with problems. (I keep getting the too-pat throw-away answers from people who’ve never been there.) I live with my boyfriend. We own a house together, partially paid for by his father. My boyfriend was severely abused as a child by his mother. He doesn’t like to talk about the details much, but apparently at one time she attacked him with butcher knives. He has a condition his pyschiatrist calls ’stress-induced explosive syndrome’. What this really means is that whenever he’s under stress, any kind of stress, he blows up like a cannon-ball. He yells, screams, says really stupid things, he hits things, he hit himself and is very self-destructive. He’s also a very severe depressive. He hasn’t been to see his pschiatrist now in almost a year. I keep trying to get him to go, but he always ‘forgets’ to call to make an appointment or ‘forgets’ to show up for the appointment. From reading this group, I’ve realized that I am very co-dependent. I fit nearly ever symptom. I’m also in a bad depression and trying to deal with my own problems. What I need advice about is should I stay with this guy or should I leave him to find some space to work out my own problems.? Thanks, Deanna
Response:
Oh … this concerns me. Does he ever hit you in these explosive outbursts? When he screams abusive things are they at you? If you think you can handle these episodes and you’re not in any physical or emotional danger, I’d say stay but set a very firm boundary of "I can not live with your life coping mechanism unless you get help!" (I just said this to my boyfriend the other day and it worked very well). Otherwise, if you’re in any physical and emotional danger – LEAVE NOW. And work out the finances/house stuff later. No – it’s not your boyfriend’s fault that he is this why. But it is *definitely* his fault that he’s not doing anything to heal from his problems. I once used this analogy with my mother when us kids left home and my dad started verbally abusing her and she was complaining that it hurt her alot, but that she loved him and shouldn’t leave him … if someone has a weird case of tourette syndrome or some body tick that caused them to every now and then pick up a 2×4 and come running after you and hit you over the head – nobody would hesitate to say, "Stay away from this person until they get help so that you won’t get hurt anymore". Much as you may feel bad for your boyfriend’s painful past – if he’s doing things to hurt you you TOTALLY deserve to be out of harm’s way. If he really wants you to stay living with him, tell him that you feel bad for his past – but his coping mechanisms are hurting you and you need to see that he’s getting help for them because it’s not fair to you to have to deal with such violent behavior. How would he feel if your coping mechanism for his violent behavior was to scream and throw things and yell stupid things? In the reasoning that he’s just "reacting to how he’s been hurt" it would be just as "acceptable" for you to become violent in reaction to him? Does that make sense? Although, from the sounds of it, you don’t sound like a person who copes with things by becoming violent (which is good). If some of this is a chemical imbalance – he needs to be seeing a doctor for help with that. It’s just NOT OK to be violent and blame it on your past or your body chemistry or whatever – and then not do anything about it. You deserve to be safe in your home – no matter what the reason for the violent behavior is. good luck – Julia – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hiya, I need advice. I need advice from someone who knows what it’s like to live or be someone with problems. (I keep getting the too-pat throw-away answers from people who’ve never been there.) I live with my boyfriend. We own a house together, partially paid for by his father. My boyfriend was severely abused as a child by his mother. He doesn’t like to talk about the details much, but apparently at one time she attacked him with butcher knives. He has a condition his pyschiatrist calls ’stress-induced explosive syndrome’. What this really means is that whenever he’s under stress, any kind of stress, he blows up like a cannon-ball. He yells, screams, says really stupid things, he hits things, he hit himself and is very self-destructive. He’s also a very severe depressive. He hasn’t been to see his pschiatrist now in almost a year. I keep trying to get him to go, but he always ‘forgets’ to call to make an appointment or ‘forgets’ to show up for the appointment. From reading this group, I’ve realized that I am very co-dependent. I fit nearly ever symptom. I’m also in a bad depression and trying to deal with my own problems. What I need advice about is should I stay with this guy or should I leave him to find some space to work out my own problems.? Thanks, Deanna
Julia * http://havoc.gtf.gatech.edu/tankgrrl "Oh God, Mulder, it smells like… I think it’s bile." "Is there any way I can get it off my fingers quickly without betraying my cool exterior?"
