Possibility of Tourettes?
Question:
My husband seemed to have unusual habits before we were married. I assumed he did them out of nervousness until things started happening more often. To start with, he claps and rubs his hands together and makes little whimpering sounds, he rubs his feet together while lying down, he walks on his toes (which I thought had been from an incident at childbirth), if he has a scratch, he will smell his hand after itching, constanly repeatingthings he says. Ido not know how to confront him about this without embarrassing him. I don’t feel he has ever been diagnosed but it is something he has not been open to me about. I do see that he has tried to hide the fact that he does it because he will stop when I enter the room. I don’t know what to do about this situation but I do feel that some of the other signs (lack of attention to me, etc.) may cause future problems. How do I go about confronting him about this and getting him diagnosed? Is there any help for this problem if it turns out to be Tourettes??? please email me with any information krys…@netscape.net
Response:
Hello Krystle, Since many of the tics related to TS can be described as "socially unacceptable", i.e. they are noticed by people around whoever displays them, it is a "natural" thing to try and hide them. A very common thing is for a TS person, including myself, to mask out a vocal tics by coughing. It is just a thing you do in order to avoid the embarrassment of being looked at as some kind of "crazy". I know that this sound very direct, but it is the truth as I see it. Since we are talking about you husband, I can safely assume that we are not talking about a child, but a grown man. Although he is displaying a number of what can be considered as "unusual" behaviors, I do read between your lines that you do not recent him doing so. I guess you would also agree that it does not really impact on you feelings about him or his ability to function in his daily life. That is the way it is for may of us. The TS is an "extra", but at the same time something that is integrated and we can not get away from. It is confusing to be a TS person at times. You feel that you are outside the boundaries in some way, but you do not wish to look at yourself as "crazy". You say that your man is not diagnosed. For some tics there are medication that may help reducing them. In order to get these medicines, an official diagnosis is required. Personally I have never been diagnosed by a doctor. It took me the better part of 5 years to accept that I had TS, and I believe that I have still not been able to quite understand the impact of finding out that I indeed had it. Through this I have had the luck of having a very supportive wife. Without her, there is no way telling where I would have been. As for your situation, it is obvious to me that the two of you have to talk. That will be tough, and you as the expert on your own husband will have to find out how to approach him. It might lead to him turning you down flat at first, refusing that there is anything "wrong". It will be very tough on him, as he will have to admit that his "defenses" built up not to show tics in public were not good enough. He will have to admit to himself that there is something there. You must expect that to take long time. As for the "unusual things" that you describe they seem to be balancing between complex tics and OCD. The vocal part sounds like a tic, while the scratching sounds more like an OCD. As a matter of fact, I do not think it is necessary to try an draw the line between those diagnoses anyway. With these symptoms, your husband would probably fall inside the diagnosis criteria for TS. If confirmed by a doctor, there is medication available, but there is so many steps to be walked there first. In the end your husband may decide not to take any medication due to the side effects. I have come to that, but I display less symptoms than what you describe. Please remember that the tics are what the rest of the world sees. There are more sides to TS for those living with it which may mean more. Difficulty staying focused etc. I have now given you a sort of a "worst case" scenario, it may not be true. maybe your husband has already accepted what he is himself, but is just uncertain on how to break it to you. In that case you will have a far easier time. Tell him he is welcome to post here with his thoughts and by all means come back with more questions and thoughts whenever you feel like it. Have a nice day, John Morten
Response:
Some of your husband’s behaviors remind me of a condition my son has – sensory integration dysfunction. This could cause your husband to walk on his toes and be "touch aversive". You can find out more about sensory integration at www.sinetwork.org. This condition frequently coexists with Tourette Syndrome. Since my son was only diagnosed with Tourette’s a couple of months ago, I do not feel fully qualified to give a definitive answer to your question, but hopefully this will help a little…
Response:
By "walking on toes" what exactly do you mean? Walking on tiptoes or something else? When I was a kid, I used to walk on the toe knuckles once in awhile, as gross as that might sound, it just felt neat. (and I got to gross out my older sister) As I gained more weight with age it was not so neat anymore : )
Response:
In article <8xFO3.1039$g5.82…@news1.wwck1.ri.home.com>, "Stephen Femino" <stev…@home.com> wrote: How > do I go about confronting him about this and getting him diagnosed? Is > there any help for this problem if it turns out to be Tourettes??? > please email me with any information > krys…@netscape.net
I’m thinking rather than ‘confront’ him with the possibility that he may have TS, perhaps it would be better to let him discover it on his own (with a bit of help from you)… rent the movie The Tic Code one evening that y’all plan on staying in and watching videos. Or leave some literature around the house for him to see… TS is for many of us a very personal thing, especially if we’ve grown up trying to hide it. It took me over 8 years after I first figured out I had TS before I could talk to anyone about it, or even research it to confirm that that’s what I really have… It sounds like his tics are mild enough that he may not need or want treatment. But just KNOWING that it’s just a disorder can in itself be a tremendous thing. Good luck!! Dominique 
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy.
Response:
Dominique wrote: << . rent the movie The Tic Code one
evening that y’all plan on staying in and watching videos. >> Do you know whether this is available for rental in all states yet? We tried to rent it last April and then again at the end of the summer in California–no video rental chains (even Blockbuster) or small stores had it available for rent anywhere in California.
Response:
>rent the movie The Tic Code one >evening
Is this movie available to rent? I have been looking for it. (to buy or rent). Jodi
Response:
FANGBASHER wrote: > Dominique wrote: << . rent the movie The Tic Code one > evening that y’all plan on staying in and watching videos. >> > Do you know whether this is available for rental in all states yet? We tried > to rent it last April and then again at the end of the summer in California–no > video rental chains (even Blockbuster) or small stores had it available for > rent anywhere in California.
Can I get this tape in PAL in the UK Dave
Response:
>Do you know whether this is available for rental in all states yet? We tried >to rent it last April and then again at the end of the summer in >California–no >video rental chains (even Blockbuster) or small stores had it available for >rent anywhere in California.
I’m not sure but wasn’t someone (Bob Geller?) saying it would be available in June or July?? It sounds like you were a couple months early, maybe? I’d give it another try…. Dominique
Response:
Dominique wroteL << wasn’t someone (Bob Geller?) saying it would be available in June or July?? It sounds like you were a couple months early, maybe? I’d give it another try…. >> For some reason the distributor for Blockbuster did not release it in California or several other states. There was some speculation that it might be shown in theaters even though it had been a TV movie. Others thought that it would not be one that would have been that popular. However, the reason that its distribution was being held up was not really known by the multitude of persons that attempted to help us. Blockbuster tried to locate it for us–and wound up sending us a $10.00 gift certificate for all the trouble/run-around we had experienced in our attempt to find it. That was very nice of them but we would have rather found the movie.
Response:
Hi As far as I can see there is only one way to confront – be direct and be gentle!! There is a lot of help for TS if that is what it turns out to be, but even more important is the fact that it is no more a handicap that a lot of other things. There are a lot of very succesful Tourette’s (I myself have 2 Ph.D’s, an MBA, and I am the MD of a company within the environmental sector with approx. 250 employees), so – why the drama ?? Relax and talk about it !!! Yours Sincerely Stefan Hultberg Denmark Stephen Femino skrev i meddelelsen <8xFO3.1039$g5.82…@news1.wwck1.ri.home.com>… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->My husband seemed to have unusual habits before we were married. I assumed >he did them out of nervousness until things started happening more often. >To start with, he claps and rubs his hands together and makes little >whimpering sounds, he rubs his feet together while lying down, he walks on >his toes (which I thought had been from an incident at childbirth), if he >has a scratch, he will smell his hand after itching, constanly >repeatingthings he says. Ido not know how to confront him about this without >embarrassing him. I don’t feel he has ever been diagnosed but it is >something he has not been open to me about. I do see that he has tried to >hide the fact that he does it because he will stop when I enter the room. I >don’t know what to do about this situation but I do feel that some of the >other signs (lack of attention to me, etc.) may cause future problems. How >do I go about confronting him about this and getting him diagnosed? Is >there any help for this problem if it turns out to be Tourettes??? >please email me with any information >krys…@netscape.net
Response:
Yeah, not everyone with ts is a "shit-fuck-damn guy". My husband does the same things and maybe you should talk to family member first before talking to him. But to answer your question, there is a lot of help if you need it. Hang in there. I am using my husband’s screen name right now, but if you want to respond to me directly, the address is: Shellh…@aol.com. So, my response is, my husband has TS. And I love him and did from the first time we met. Of course, I was curious as to why he kept smacking the steering wheel when no cars were around to piss him off. And, he kept getting what I thought were bugs on the back of his neck….six bugs in record time of 15 seconds. And I didn’t know about the TS, but I suspected something funky. But, we were in the early stages and I thought he was really great anyway. And so he has this pill bottle and I asked what it was for and he flat out said, "I have tourette syndrome". Now, having studied speech and hearing science and having a professor (Dr. Dingwall at Univ of Maryland) who obsessed about the tourette thing, I was not unaware of the syndrome. And I was working at a hospital at the time while going to grad school, and the next morning, I cornered the neurologist and asked for his take on ts. My main concern was (because I really digged this guy….we connected immediately) , will this be passed to my children? And, 7 years later, through a ton of emotional crap…because for someone with ts, he is the most confident person I know and never looks at ts as a disability…ever. But he is also one stubborn pain in the ass! I swear, I totally can overlook the ts when he is acting like a typical male. TS doesn’t factor into anything with him! He is so well adjusted! Anyway, I thought, if we get married and have kids, I am glad that they can have such a good role model….because he is so good at handling things that relate to his ts. Like the time he ripped the interior ceiling of my car as we traveled out west. Or the time that his teeth flew out in a restaurant in Jackson Hole, Wy….granted, it wasn’t the best dental job, but he handled it very well. And I married him because of all the really good qualities he possesses. So what if he can’t get the food on his fork the first or fifth time he tries? So what if he has to shake the newspaper 5 times before being able to read it,( and smell it) I really don’t notice it that much, but I do catch him unloading his pent-up tics for a good 15 minutes….and I don’t think anything strange about it. He is a really good person and can totally accept his situation. I wish that he would get involved with this and try to help others cope. He lives a good life despite the quirky jerks. And I have gotten really good at spotting other ts people. We currently debate whether John Rocker has ts or ocd….he is the pitcher for the Braves (we’re Yanks fans and he resembles our friend). And so, as his brother said to my mother (when we were all pleasantly buzzed…) "he’s not one of those shit-fuck-damn guys" (keep in mind I wasn’t allowed to say "fart" in her presence). So, you are not alone. Needless to say, I have a totally different perspective on the whole thing because it never once thought of ts as a reason not to be with him (and sometimes he is cocky son of a bitch and extremely difficult to deal with cause he knows everything!) But I want you to know, you are not alone and things will be fine. So if you want to chat, you can contact me at the address above and/or send notes to Sean directly at the address from which these poetic words of wisdom were sent (thanks to baccardi)!
Response:
I find this REALLY interesting…not that not everyone with TS swears uncontrollably (I knew that already, guys!) but that those three words, in that exact same order, were what I repeated mentally for a while. I’ve never really had coprolalia, but mental c? Probably. But the fact that you listed them in that same order….hmmm. Intriguing. Joyce SEANHAND <seanh…@aol.com> wrote in message
news:19991031150315.01262.00000560@ng-xb1.aol.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Yeah, not everyone with ts is a "shit-fuck-damn guy".
Response:
On 31 Oct 1999 20:03:15 GMT, seanh…@aol.com (SEANHAND) wrote: >Yeah, not everyone with ts is a "shit-fuck-damn guy". My husband does the same >things and maybe you should talk to family member first before talking to him.
I was talking to a co-worker of mine about that. I told him that coprolalia was a symptom in only a fraction of TS cases, and that someone with TS and OCD is just as likely to go around saying "Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down." Personally, I vent my coprolalia as sporting events. -Greg G — -Greg "TORCHA" Gershowitz -DGX3K’s own Extreme Icon To Reply: See the organization line Spam sucks. Fuck you spammers. Have a Nice Day. http://www.geocities.com/Area51/5207
Response:
> > Yeah, not everyone with ts is a "shit-fuck-damn guy".
Tell me, were it so, would you still love him as much? And if not, why not? KAT in CT (thinking about all our colleagues here who have coprolalia……of this sort)
Response:
– Joanne KATHRYN A TAUBERT – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> > > Yeah, not everyone with ts is a "shit-fuck-damn guy". > Tell me, were it so, would you still love him as much? > And if not, why not? > KAT in CT (thinking about all our colleagues here who have > coprolalia……of this sort) > Who me? Shucks…..
Response:
? > > KAT in CT (thinking about all our colleagues here who have > > coprolalia……of this sort) > > Who me? Shucks…..
And others. I’ve become quite sensitive to the fact that many times, some things the rest of us say may inadvertently make those of you with more difficult symptoms feel a bit left out. I don’t want to do that. You are my FRIENDS. And Jo, you and I have a date for Rein’s soon. Right? KAT in CT
Response:
What you described is very interesting. Your husband sounds great. My niece was just diagnosed, she’s 9. I just want her to have the best life possible. I want to be able to help her.
