TS – Suggestable child/Right Counselor? Netscape
Question:
On 04 Jun 2002 23:00:25 GMT, gnlw…@aol.com (gnlwood) wrote: >Also, I’m going to be switching to cable with netscape browser from AOL. Does >anyone know if I’ll still be able to reach you with comcast cable and netscape?
http://news.cis.dfn.de/ – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->If so, how; If not, I’ll have to load AOL in as well. I couldn’t part with >you guys. You have helped keep me sane this past hard hard year. Thanks for >any help you can give me.
Response:
gnlwood wrote: > Thanks Randall, what do you mean by a "poor news feed?"
He means they don’t get all posts, regularly and consistently … some posts may go missing. Still better than AOL, though … AOL’s newsreader stinks. Here is some info about how to get up and running on ast with your new stuff … http://pub23.ezboard.com/ftourettesyndromenowwhatfrm4.showMessage?top… — Tourette Syndrome – Now What? http://tourettenowwhat.tripod.com Alert: forgeries have occurred on alt.support.tourette. If you get e-mail which seems nasty or suspicious, it may be a forgery.
Response:
Thanks Jodi. I might do that. Sometimes I think I’m too conservative and not being fair to him. Lisa
Response:
Hi Gnlwood — "gnlwood" <gnlw…@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20020604190025.27310.00000091@mb-mk.aol.com… I just wanted any feedback on what you guys think of a psychologist > who is treating my son. She is very good, for me at least. Being that he has > "only a mild case of TS" (to us of course, to him I’m sure it’s never mild), > she seems to really steer him away from "owning" the syndrome. He is a very > suggestive kid and she feels and rightly so at times, that the more he thinks > about it, the worse it gets. Sometimes, I do feel she’s right as I feel that > getting your mind off of anything by focusing on the positive is the way for > anyone to handle a problem.
David is somewhat similar. The more we acknowledge his feelings — the more inflamed his feelings get. For instance — if he is angry about not having a Gameboy (yes, we are cruel parents), and we acknowledge his frustration/anger by saying "I understand that you are angry, but….", we find he doesn’t hear the 2nd half of the sentence — just the first half — and it only justifies his anger/frustration. It just makes it worse. We have learned to acknowledge something — and then move on. It helps him move on. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Sometimes, however, I think am I doing my kid a > disservice by not letting him feel sorry for himself as he is a teenager > dealing with a tough, but able to be handled problem. Tenex helps a little, > but you know, it’s not the total cure and I hate to increase his dosage from > 1!/2 to 2 mg a day. I’m just really hoping everything will come together on > the smaller dose with the therapy. > What do you guys think? Is positive thinking and tough love better with a > highly suggestable and attention-needing child with TS? or should I just try > to balance it all out like I’m trying to do. I’ve read in recent posts that > some counselors can be soooo horrible not giving credence to a child with TS > and I don’t want my son to feel that way. She says to him "yes, you have a > mild case" and then helps him focus on the positives. Do you think we’re on the > right track? It just seems to me like sometimes he wants a lot of pity > translated later into take me to the video store and buy me whatever I want and > I don’t want him to use this issue as a means to an end.
First off, I think how you handle your son is not necessarily how a psychologist should handle your son. The psychologist is trying (I would hope) to help your son grow and learn how to handle things. Where is the growth in pity and negative reinforcement? He needs to find the inner strength to solve his own problems — and handle his own situations. Your job on the other hand is to help him grow, but also to provide a secure and loving environment to grow in. He needs to feel safe with you (which I’m sure he does). The point is, you and the psychologist have different roles to play. But is the psychologist just dismissing his feelings? Recognizing the difficulties of childhood (made more difficult by TS) and recognizing a child’s feelings isn’t "pity". You can recognize problems without pitying them. My nephew has very severe TS, anxiety, ocd, adhd and mood disorders. He has a tough row to hoe. When James was literally falling apart back in 2nd grade (the year he was diagnosed) — we all bent over backwards to try to take the hurt away — my parents bought him I don’t know how much stuff — and it diverted him momentarily but the underlying problem was always there. All because he was such a mess, and we were seriously concerned that he would hurt himself, end up hospitalized. It was horrible. The thing is, that even that momentary diversion from some silly McDonald’s Toy or Star Wars figure — was a gift. As James has learned how to cope with life and the medication has evened things out for him — we treat him the way we treat everyone else in the family. In other words — while I would never say how we were helping him amounted to "pity" — he wasn’t coping with his situation — and we did EVERYTHING we could think of to help him. Now that things are going well — even when his tics get so bad that he has difficulty getting himself a glass of milk — we are much more "matter of fact" about it. But he is coping now, that is the difference. We are beginning to have conversations with David (my son) about his TS and how to handle it. We are very matter-of-fact; and we try to be very acknowledging of his difficulties — and everyone else in his school with "difficulties". Before TS or any of David’s other issues surfaced, he always had a very special relationship with the children in his school with special needs. It is really quite charming. He relates to these children as people — while a good number of other children saw the special needs child as just a composite of their symptoms. We acknowledge David’s difficulties — and work on how to handle them — with rewards for positive achievements rather than rewards for feeling bad. Again, because David is finally coping well with his difficulties. Back when David was falling apart (3rd grade) — we would do just about anything to help him cope; once we even brought him home early from a Cub Scout Pack Meeting to see a Backstreet Boys Concert on TV. NOT what I would do now, but at the time — it helped get him through the day. So, all in all I would say that I would not give a child material things out of pity. On the other hand, when a child is having a very hard time coping — it might be what it takes to get the child through a very very tough situation. Ultimately, we all have to learn how to cope. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Also, I’m going to be switching to cable with netscape browser from AOL. Does > anyone know if I’ll still be able to reach you with comcast cable and netscape? > If so, how; If not, I’ll have to load AOL in as well. I couldn’t part with > you guys. You have helped keep me sane this past hard hard year. Thanks for > any help you can give me. > Lisa
Response:
‘Twas 04 Jun 2002 23:00:25 GMT when all alt.support.tourette stood in awe as gnlw…@aol.com (gnlwood) uttered: >Also, I’m going to be switching to cable with netscape browser from AOL. Does >anyone know if I’ll still be able to reach you with comcast cable and netscape?
Yes you can, but Comcast has a poor news feed. — RB |
