A philosophical Question/ I have a date
Question:
>I have a date this weekend with a girl I never have gone out with >before. SInce I have TS, when is it best to "break the news". Do you >mention something right away (i.e. on the first date), or do you wait >until you become involved? I don’t know if I should bring it up or >not. I can see the logic to either argument. >Any suggestions? Please post or e-mail. >Thanks >Dave
Hi Dave, I’m assuming that you have known her for awhile, or, is this a blind date? If you have known her for awhile, you are really the best judge as to whether to tell her or not. If you don’t know her, I wouldn’t tell her until it is clear that the two of you are going somewhere with the relationship. What does ts have to do with being a loving and caring man? We all have things about us that are less than perfect, that’s life. The right kind of woman will love you for who you are Blessings, Candice.
Response:
On 19 Feb 1999 19:30:43 GMT, can…@aol.com (Cansas) wrote: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->>I have a date this weekend with a girl I never have gone out with >>before. SInce I have TS, when is it best to "break the news". Do you >>mention something right away (i.e. on the first date), or do you wait >>until you become involved? I don’t know if I should bring it up or >>not. I can see the logic to either argument. >>Any suggestions? Please post or e-mail. >>Thanks >>Dave >Hi Dave, >I’m assuming that you have known her for awhile, or, is this a blind date? If >you have known her for awhile, you are really the best judge as to whether to >tell her or not. If you don’t know her, I wouldn’t tell her until it is clear >that the two of you are going somewhere with the relationship. >What does ts have to do with being a loving and caring man? We all have things >about us that are less than perfect, that’s life. The right kind of woman will >love you for who you are >Blessings, >Candice.
Candice, Well, the scoop is, I’ve known her exactly 4 days. I met her at a church service where we chatted for a couple of minutes. A mutual friend gave me her number and I called her last night. I agree with you, it has nothing to do with me being a kind, caring man. I often wonder if because I have TS is the reason I’m so caring. The right kind of woman won’t care I have TS, but several I have dated did. That’s why I wondered if I, non-chalantly (sp?), mention it. Thanks again. The universe is an awfully big place. It would be a lot of wasted space if we’re the only ones in it. radsa…@earthlink.net
Response:
On 19 Feb 1999 19:30:43 GMT, can…@aol.com (Cansas) wrote: >>>I have a date this weekend with a girl I never have gone out with >>>before. SInce I have TS, when is it best to "break the news". Do you >>>mention something right away (i.e. on the first date), or do you wait >>>until you become involved? I don’t know if I should bring it up or >>>not. I can see the logic to either argument. >>>Any suggestions? Please post or e-mail. >>>Thanks >>>Dave
Dave: I think you’ll need to take your cues from her. I’m a non-TSer married to a TSer, but he was only diagnosed last summer, so he didn’t know about it when we met (blind date). I remember thinking, "Well, he’s awfully cute, but what is UP with that TWITCH???" I asked him about it, and he said it was just a nervous habit (we’ve all heard that before, haven’t we? 
). I’m ashamed to say I wasn’t even sure I wanted to see him again (not just because of the tic, but that was part of it), but I went out with him a couple more times, and I was hooked! I think I would have been a bit more comfortable right off if he’d known what it was, so I could have given it a name, and known that it wasn’t an emotional problem, but a neurological one. Generally speaking, I think that anyone worth getting involved with is going to be able to handle it, whether she knows the name behind the symptoms or not. Hope that helps a bit, Kathleen And have FUN on that date! **Spam Trap** Accentuate the Positive to send e-mail.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Cansas wrote: > >I have a date this weekend with a girl I never have gone out with > >before. SInce I have TS, when is it best to "break the news". Do you > >mention something right away (i.e. on the first date), or do you wait > >until you become involved? I don’t know if I should bring it up or > >not. I can see the logic to either argument. > >Any suggestions? Please post or e-mail. > >Thanks > >Dave > Hi Dave, > I’m assuming that you have known her for awhile, or, is this a blind date? If > you have known her for awhile, you are really the best judge as to whether to > tell her or not. If you don’t know her, I wouldn’t tell her until it is clear > that the two of you are going somewhere with the relationship. > What does ts have to do with being a loving and caring man? We all have things > about us that are less than perfect, that’s life. The right kind of woman will > love you for who you are > Blessings, > Candice.
From an English guy near Brighton. Relax, don’t mention it. You may scare her off. If you think about it and worry, your TS gets worse. Hope it goes well Dave
Response:
>I agree with you, it has nothing to do with me being a kind, caring >man. I often wonder if because I have TS is the reason I’m so caring. >The right kind of woman won’t care I have TS, but several I have dated >did. That’s why I wondered if I, non-chalantly (sp?), mention it.
Hi Dave, Nah, let her get to know what a kind and caring man you are first. Then, if the relationship progresses, tell her. Just my opinion. It’s not like you are hiding any big dark secret. It’s just ts. No biggie, the women who think that it is a big deal aren’t who you want to spend the rest of your life with anyway. Blessings, Candice
Response:
>Do you >mention something right away (i.e. on the first date), or do you wait >until you become involved? I don’t know if I should bring it up or >not. I can see the logic to either argument.
Dear Dave — I wouldn’t mention it unless she says something. Sometimes I’ve mentioned my TS to people who say they never noticed my tics. Others have said "Everyone has tics" (of one sort or another). I had TS for 25 years before I found out what it was — I was about 9 when it started, and had been made painfully aware of what I was doing by my parents, relative and peers throughout my childhood. I learned to mask the tics as I grew older by incorporating them into other movements (rubbing my eyes, coughing, etc.). I only learned what TS was when my former husband found an article in the newspaper describing it. Our son had developed it when he was 4. We though it was psychological and, of course, blamed ourselves. We saw Dr. Arthur Shapiro to discuss our son’s condition (by that time, we were divorced). When I mentioned that I also had this condition, my husband said that HE HAD NEVER NOTICED IT! And we were married for 10 years! What I’m getting at is that your friend may not notice it, or even care. Let her bring it up. You may have too many other things going for you in this relationship to matter. Or then, again, the relationship may not get off the ground. For your sake, I hope it does. GOOD LUCK! Bobbie
Response:
– Joanne Cohen, LCSW : : Relax, don’t mention it. You may scare her off. If you think about it and worry, : your TS gets worse. : Hope it goes well : Dave : : And, to play TS devil’s advocate, depending on how obvious your tics are, if you DON"T tell her, she will 1) make her own assumptions uninformed, which may not be accurate, and 2) Your tics may actually INCREASE because you will be trying hard to NOT let her see them. Can you casually say, by the way, it’s no big deal, but I just want to tell you I have Tourette. have you heard of it? Yes? cool, that’s why you might see/hear me do XYZ. No? you haven’t heard of it, well, it’s just this condition that makes me do XYZ"…..and then watch her response and go from there……if she has questions, be honest, if she seems like she doesn’t want to pry, drop it until another time… Just my thoughts…..you need to do what feels BEST FOR YOU! Good luck, and it’s clich
